Five Things Your Pumps Really Say About You

Posted by Celia Sinclair on

We've all been there before-- You're all dressed up in the club, around town, at a party, or just generally doing what you do, and you catch people staring at you like this:

 

"Is it my hair? My makeup? My outfit?" You might ask. Maybe, but it could also be your shoes. That's why you should know these five things your pumps really say about you:

1. You might be more than just "a head" above your peers.

Let's be real here, there's no way people aren't going to notice your extra 4 inches, and that's okay! The average man is only 5'7" tall, so you shorter ladies may match that height, but my taller women out there may tower over some shorter men. Never be afraid to own your look though-- big, bold, and beautiful is always in.

2. You likely believe no pain, no gain when it comes to your shoe choice.

Wow, who knew shoes could hurt so much?! You're pretty sure whoever designed the first pump has never seen a human foot in their life, because those two shapes just don't fit together. But you know you can't help yourself-- after all, your shoes are just so cute that you can't not show them off!

3. Everyone knows just how much you had to practice walking in them.

 

If you learned anything from all those high school dances, it's that high heels definitely demand lots of practice before they let you walk in them. By now, you're probably skilled enough to run across the dance floor to greet your friends that just walked in the club, but that ability was earned after many twisted ankles. You might not admit it, but you probably still lose your balance when you move too fast.

4. You're secretly watching everywhere you step, just so you don't accidentally stab something.

 

Just like bees have stingers, you have pointy heels. Navigating nightlife in these can be tricky-- you could become a makeshift garbage collector and skewer a bunch of trash on your heel, or (worst case scenario) step on one of your friends. Wearing the only pair of pumps while the rest of your friends are in sandals might make you feel like a bull in a china shop, so you're extra careful where you step. 

5. You're there to turn some heads and have a good time.

Wherever you are, you know you're going to attract some attention (and maybe a little more). Pumps are the perfect combination of sleek and sexy, and elegant and classy-- that's why you chose to wear them, after all. So get out there and strut your stuff!

 


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3 comments

  • Omg I love this…it is soo funny

    Angela Lily on
  • This is one of the funniest videos ever. It should be on you-tube.

    Patrick Costantino on
  • OMG I can totally relate to this!! That is hysterical!

    Molly on

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